Under these terms, "I", "my", "we", "us", and "our" refer to A. Jacob Cord and any additional voices present in his head. "Them" refers collectively to any government agency (especially the IRS), Utility companies (like Avista), Extraterrestrials, or Italians that you may have, at one time, been victimized, abused, probed, looked at funny, or billed by (in any order).
Welcome to Bogomip Dot Net! These terms of service have been developed to govern your use of this site, hereafter referred to as "this site", "the site", "bogomip.net", or "[Bb]ogomip [Dd]ot [Nn]et", "my site", or whatever the freak else I decide to call it. Your act of pointing your web browser at this site indicates that you agree to be bound by these terms, or by any other medium I see fit (ropes, chains, leprous monkeys, etc). Bogomip Dot Net reserves the right to terminate not only your access to this site, but the entire subnet you belong to for any reason ranging from our whims to a suspicious server log entry to your nationality (especially if you're French).
Copyright: Unless explicitly otherwise stated, all information, content, services, software, bits, electrons transmitted through or used in connection with this site, including for example blog entries, program source or object code, html, etc (collectively and cleverly referred to as "Content", or just "my crap") as well as its selection and arrangement is owned by Bogomip Dot Net, except for the stuff that was owned by someone else, in which case it isn't my crap. You may view my crap online to your hearts content as long as it is solely for your benefit in a non-commercial environment, unless you live in a factory, in which case you can have the non-commercial rights, too. So quit whining.
You may not republish any of my crap without my permission. Expecially you, usmediaweb.net. You may not use my crap on your aggregate blog for any purpose. It is expressly forbidden for you to use my crap to make yourself money unless you're giving me fistloads of cash, then I may give you the okay.
You have the right to subscribe to my RSS feed or any other mechanism I provide for your own personal purposes only. You do not have the right to use my feeds for any other purpose. If you have any questions, read the previous paragraph.
Postcards, instant messages, links, and hate mail sent to me regarding this site become my property, and I reserve the right to reprint any of your hate mail on this site for all to laugh at and deride. You may not republish any of my crap and claim it is your own crap.
Requests to use Content for any purposes that aren't expressly permitted in these Terms of Service should be directed to any nearby inanimate object, as you will get just as much a response from them as you will from us.
Bogomip Dot Net respects the intellectual property of others. If we have glommed anything from you and did not give credit, we apologize in advance to your family for having to live with such a weenie, and will either give intellectual credit (if it was intelligent enough), or remove it at our latest convenience.
In exchange for your compliance to all conditions of this service agreement, we grant you the following rights: