Danger on Tiki Island
Posted in Reviews
Forenoon watch, 5 bells (10:31 am)

Last night my brother Wes and I watched the latest Cinematic Titanic release, Danger on Tiki Island.

Having been a long-time fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, this is an instant classic. While I don't think I enjoy the live versions quite as much as the normal DVD releases, it doesn't detract from the enjoyment of the jokes. And I can tell you, there were a lot of them!

The story is (roughly) about a scientist and his wife investigating an island after nearby nuclear testing. Accompanying them is a peace corps guy that wants to improve the quality of life of the native population. But a monster is loose on the island, and the natives have reverted to virgin sacrifices on a near-nightly basis. Exactly how they could sustain this level of commitment I can't say.

Did I mention the trees have grabbing tentacles? And the monster suit was ridiculous? Of course I don't need to. Plus, there is a bonus documentary feature.

Don't be afraid to rush out and get the latest installment from Joel, Trace, J. Elvis, Mary Jo, and TV's Frank!

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The Alien Factor
Posted in Reviews
Forenoon watch, 4 bells (10:09 am)

I received my copy of Cinematic Titanic's The Alien Factor in the mail the other day. I watched it this morning since I was up early with little to do. The Alien Factor like East Meets Watts, is a "live show DVD," a recording of a live performance. I didn't think I'd like either as much as I did because of the laughing in the background, but it wasn't too bad. (In case you don't know, I have a strong aversion to laugh tracks.)

In any case, The Alien Factor was a horribly low-budget film. In fact, I'd be surprised if it wasn't some amateur film school dropout project. A significant portion of the movie involved people walking around in the woods not saying anything!

The plot (what there was of it) involves a crashed alien spacecraft that held dangerous biological entities the aliens intended to study. They are freed by the crash and begin terrorizing a small town. There was a ton of plaid and most of the pants flared out at the bottom (always funny!) and the acting was horrendous. The "hospital" scene was obviously a white sheet backdrop, and the sheriff's car had only two doors. A "state policeman" showed up in uniform driving a VW Beetle.

The worst part, however, has to be the end, when we find out the guy helping to kill the monsters is actually himself an alien. The woman he's speaking to screams because he's hideous, and the sheriff shows up and blasts him with the shotgun and the film ends abruptly. While I enjoy this type of entertainment (well not the movie, but the riffing), I think I enjoyed East Meets Watts more than The Alien Factor.

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Blood of the Vampires
Posted in Reviews
Afternoon watch, 1 bell (12:58 pm)

I watched Blood of the Vampires by Cinematic Titanic (finally). It was pretty awful, but hey, I expected that.

I learned several things from this movie:

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Blood of the Vampires
Posted in General
First dog watch, 4 bells (6:17 pm)

Yesterday I got Blood of the Vampires in the mail from Cinematic Titanic. The included card? It was signed by J. Elvis. I'll be reviewing it soon, if I can get over my Boom Blox addiction.

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Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks
Posted in Reviews
First watch, 1 bell (8:40 pm)

Today I watched Cinematic Titanic's Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks, an Italian movie with cavemen, midgets, and a Frankenstein family. The movie was pretty terrible, but what can you expect? It was funny, though, and CT's "breast blimp" technology was funny. I cracked up at the "this was like my last day at MST" joke, though I'm not exactly sure who said it (Frank or J. Elvis, I think, but I can't be sure). Anyway, it's a great addition to the growing CT library. Keep on riffing, Joel and the gang!

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Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks
Afternoon watch, 7 bells (3:41 pm)

Well the geniuses at Cinematic Titanic are about to release a new movie on January 8th. I can't wait!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1t5BBQ1kwQ

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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Posted in Reviews
Last dog watch, 3 bells (7:49 pm)

No, I didn't watch this one again, and especially not as a new tradition. Nope, this is the shiny new version from Cinematic Titanic.

The best thing about this movie was that it came with an autographed silhouette from Joel Hodgson saying "Merry Christmas JH."

I have to say this is the only really bad movie I've watched twice. I love that the original MST3K guys are doing new movies. Their riffs are a little bit more adult, but they didn't go over the top like I felt they did in The Wasp Woman.

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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians Trailer
Forenoon watch, 5 bells (10:45 am)

Here's the new Cinematic Titanic trailer for their holiday release I mentioned a few days ago:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44BV-5BTry0

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Cinematic Titanic News!
Forenoon watch, 3 bells (9:44 am)

Joel Hodgson of Cinematic Titanic (and MST3K) fame just posted news about a redo of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (see the IMDB entry here). This is the first "re-riff" of a movie since the local-access only Season 0 of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Promising totally new jokes and an in-time-for-the-holidays release (Nov 20 2008), this one is gonna be great!

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Legacy of Blood
Posted in Reviews
First watch, 2 bells (9:20 pm)

Cinematic Titanic recently released Legacy of Blood, and I just finished watching it. This one had a card signed by J. Elvis Weinstein (the previous two were Mary Jo Pehl and Trace Beaulieu).

The movie was terrible, but that was the point. It's back to riffing bad movies for this crew. I must admit, I miss the robots, but it's nice to have access to good humor and bad movies. This one was much better than Wasp Woman, in my humble opinion.

Legacy of Blood is about a family whose father dies, but to earn their inheritance they must spend a week together in his house. But the cliche doesn't end here—it just keeps going right on to the predictable twist at the end!

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Wasp Woman
Posted in General
First dog watch, 4 bells (6:10 pm)

My copy of Wasp Woman showed up today. I can't wait to watch it.

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Doomsday Machine
Posted in Reviews
Afternoon watch, 2 bells (1:05 pm)

I finally got my copy in the mail last Saturday. I didn't watch it until Monday night, though. It was hideously funny. Most surprising was when I received the DVD, it came with an autographed silhouette of Trace Beaulieu!

This movie was about a mission to Venus. Why scientists would think Venus more habitable than Mars is completely unknown to me. Some spies find some kind of doomsday robot machine thingy and take some pictures of it. Because of this, the mission is changed and the schedule moved forward. Three of the astronauts are replaced with women. The men argue about this for some reason.

After launch, the Earth is destroyed in what looks like a series of rips in the film, but are probably meant to be special nuclear effects. The astronauts realize they are the last people left alive, and start to freak out. They also realize that because they used fuel to avoid debris from the exploded Earth, they won't have enough to safely land on Venus, so they have to kick someone out of the rocket. Instead, an emergency happens and one of the guys has to separate a booster stage manually via a spacewalk he knows he won't return from, because the boosters will fire when it happens. So one of the female astronauts goes out with him because he "doesn't have enough mass" to get it unstuck. Together they un-stick the booster and the rocket takes off, leaving them stranded.

But WAIT! What's that over there?? It's an empty Russian rocket in space near Venus! (insert deus ex machina here)

The two astronauts that were stranded now become the main characters of the story, but they never take their helmets off again, because now they're different actors with different voices! They attempt to follow the rocket, but a mysterious voice over the radio claiming to be the hive mind of Venus (or something like that anyway) tells them the rocket is gone, and they can't land on Venus because the people living there are peaceful and don't want any warmongering ex-Earth scum living with them. The voice tells them they will have a new beginning somewhere else, and that's about it. They kind of imply that the people of Venus shoot the Russian capsule off into space toward some other planet, but nothing is resolved.

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Doomsday Machine
Afternoon watch, 1 bell (12:59 pm)

Cinematic Titanic is releasing their new movie tomorrow. For now, we'll have to be happy with this:

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Doomsday Machine
Posted in General
Afternoon watch, 7 bells (3:42 pm)

Cinematic Titanic is going to release their next episode, The Doomsday Machine on June 19th. You will be able to order the DVD or download the show.

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Cinematic Titanic Two
Forenoon watch, 5 bells (10:42 am)

Joel and the gang at Cinematic Titanic finished recording several new "episodes" recently, and have put a limited release out on their new trailer for Doomsday Machine. If you're a member of their mailing list you'd have gotten a link and a super secret password to get in and view it.

Best part, the stinger: Gumball machine head on a robot? I'm sorry, that is lame. The new episode will be available in June.

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