Last year for our Christmas white elephant gift exchange at the office, my contribution was the Avenging Unicorn playset; it was quite a hit, actually.
Now, almost eight months later, I had quite forgotten who went home with the unicorn. After a short jaunt around the office fixing computer problems, I returned to my office to find this:
The Avenging Unicorn
It found its way home, how endearing…
Today, dear readers, I present you with a painting of Bea Arthur wrestling a velociraptor.
You can even buy a print if you want.
I believe at this point there is nothing more I can see on the Internet.
The building I work in has a cleaning crew, and the lady that is usually around must have OCD, she does all kinds of weird things. One of my cow-orkers had loose change she would always roll up for him. One Saturday I had to come in and work and she told me not to walk on the carpets in the hallway, they just vacuumed-striped them, like people do with lawns when they mow them. You know, so the grain goes one way and then another and it has a nice stripe pattern. Another of my cow-orkers saw her in the parking lot on her hands and knees removing dirt from a crack in the asphalt.
Anyway, during a meeting, we saw her out in the parking lot, in the rain, picking up pine cones. One of my cow-orkers asked what she was doing with them, and I postulated she’s probably alphabetizing them. My cow-orker said I was a meanie for that wise crack.
If so, this is for you.
Apparently there is a creepy gnome terrorizing a town in South America. Watch the video. You know you want to.
I just don’t know what else I can say. See it for yourself.
Oh, it’s because of this. Warning: Pokemon content.
I dare anyone to try to make it to the end.
Get her some Book-scented perfume.
I can’t decide if this is weird or enticing.
You can’t believe everything you read on Wikipedia (it’s fixed now). For example:
Physically, Canada is similar in appearance to the Moon as it is heavily cratered. It has no natural satellites and no substantial atmosphere.
Heh, no substantial atmosphere.
Happy Cephalopodmas, you weirdos. 
I had an epiphany today, each day I’m going to try to post about something that isn’t bigger in Texas. Today, in the EHB grocery store, we bought egg nog. We bought 4 half-gallon containers because they don’t have gallon containers like they do back home. So egg nog is not bigger in Texas.
Welcome to Texas. It’s a foreign country. As evidence, I present to you the space cow I saw in the airport:
It’s illegal in the state of Connecticut to sell beer that has the image of Santa Claus on the label. (Sec 30-6-A31a, pp 89). Which means you can’t sell this:
Bwahahahaha!
I promise this is the only part of this website on which you will find any information about awkwardly shaped canaries.
Just helping a guy out, like last time.
Just how awkwardly can a canary be shaped, anyway? How about sausage-shaped canaries? Whale-shaped canaries?