Scurvy Jake's Pirate Blog » Risible Department

Funny Stuff

Scurvy Jake — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:54:55 +0000

The local PD published a "Bar Report," here's my favorite one from the last month:

Sunday, January 8, 2012: 0242 hours
115 N 2nd St - #12C00727 – Assault with a Knife
Officers were flagged down and told there was an unconscious male on the steps of the Baja Bar.
Officers located an extremely intoxicated and unconscious 22 year old male on the top step of the
bar next to a large puddle of vomit. Officers made several attempts to wake the male (nudged him,
shook him, activated their emergency sirens) and after some time, the male stood up and
attempted to walk away and would not cooperate with officers (refused to sit, ignored instructions,
etc). At some point during this incident, the male removed and concealed something from his
pocket, and when officers heard a “click,” they realized the male had a knife. The male then
attempted to slash the officer with the knife, the officer aimed his weapon at the male and shouted
at him to “drop it,” and the male dropped the knife. Officers took the man to the ground and
handcuffed him. The male was arrested on charges of Aggravated Assault, Concealed Weapon
and Obstructing. The male continued to resist arrest, and due to his level of intoxication, he was
taken to KMC and later transported to the jail. As he sobered up, he became confused about the
charges involving the knife (could not remember) and cried while he was being booked.

FYI: KMC = Kootenai Medical Center

Moonlighting in China

Scurvy Jake — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:19:36 +0000

I thing Dr Seuss has been doing some consulting work:

Awesome Faceplant, Dude!

Scurvy Jake — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 05:38:14 +0000

I just saw one of the funniest things ever: I was at a stoplight on my way home just now when two guys hit the crosswalk button to get across highway 41 (from the bar to the trailer park. I know, surprise!). Anyway, just as they were half-way across, one of them fell flat on his face, heels over his head and all. Instead of putting his hands out to break his fall he used his right cheek. I thought he was down for the count, but his buddy helped him stand up, and I thought he was going down a second time he was so wobbly. But he succeeded, and they finished crossing the road before the light changed. If only they could have heard the laughter from our car.

Tomorrow morning he'll be wondering why his face hurts so much, and how gravel got on to his pillow…

Happy Birthday, MST3K!

Scurvy Jake — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 18:18:20 +0000

Today is the 22nd anniversary of Mystery Science Theater 3000! Hi keeba!

Hamster Atonement

Scurvy Jake — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 01:38:58 +0000

This comic from The Oatmeal may be one of the funniest web comics I've seen in a very long time:

Thanks Sarah for sending it my way!

Robert Howard’s Conan

Scurvy Jake — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 00:59:31 +0000

This short passage from Robert E. Howard's The Jewels of Gwahlur (one of his Conan short stories) continues to crack me up:

And, oh, by the way, they took off Zargheba's head and hung it up in a thicket." She shivered, yet at the same time breathed a sigh of relief. "He'll never whip me again." "Not this side of Hell," agreed Conan.

I love how Conan oh-so-nonchalantly implies the girl is going to hell. And that she will be whipped by him again.

Corner Gas

Scurvy Jake — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 17:32:42 +0000

I heard a review of the Canadian show Corner Gas on the Firefly podcast The Signal quite a while ago, and added it to my Netflix queue. It showed up last week. I finally got around to watching it last Friday night, and it was pretty funny. There were some hit-or-miss episodes on the first disk, but overall it was pretty good stuff. I love how the first episode started, even before the credits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nMXV4NG4gQ

So check it out, you might like it. Eh.

High Score, Seriously?

Scurvy Jake — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 18:01:22 +0000

Since Lorien's been out of town this week, I've been watching Buck Rogers on Hulu. I finished it last night, but couldn't get over the hilarity of the penultimate episode, Testimony of a Traitor.

I won't go in to details, but a ship is chasing Buck and Wilma, and his weapons interface looks like this:

Futuristic or not, that's a pretty cavalier attitude toward combat!

How Star Trek Should Have Ended

Scurvy Jake — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:14:52 +0000

Ran across How It Should Have Ended recently, and thought I'd share this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbJ-y6BWfUc

Me To a “T”

Scurvy Jake — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:03:47 +0000

Today's Woot podcast resounds in my soul. You can hear it here if you like.