Chupacabra Hunter
Posted in Dreams
Forenoon watch, 1 bell (8:58 am)

I must preface what I'm going to say with the following: I am not making any of this up, or even embellishing it to be funnier. It's funny enough as is.

Last night I scared one of the cats pretty bad. In my defense, it was walking on me. While I was dreaming. About being a Chupacabra hunter.

I was part of a team, and we hunted and trapped Chupacabras. When I felt a small creature crawling over my chest, I was startled awake, and yelled "Goatsucker!" and grabbed the cat, who promptly ran for his life. Unfortunately my wife, who had been weeding the front yard earlier that day, was dead asleep and did not witness it. She loved the story, though.

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Refrigerator Dream
Posted in Dreams
Forenoon watch, 4 bells (10:12 am)

I had a dream last night that the new refrigerator I ordered was 68.5 inches wide instead of tall. I was in a panic, but all it would really mean is I'd have to move the fishtank over a little ways. Besides, they don't make home refrigerators that big. It was a silly dream. See what happens when you live without a fridge for so long?

PS The Whirlpool distributor should have my refrigerator in stock on Tuesday.

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Technical Nightmare
Posted in Dreams
First dog watch, 3 bells (5:57 pm)

The other day I had a technical nightmare (a dream, not IRL). I had a very important file to print out, but it could only be read by a special EEPROM only found in arcade stand-up Pac Man games. I had to go to Las Vegas to find one, it was very frustrating, and weird.

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Volcanos and Ruins and Italians, Oh My!
Posted in Dreams
Afternoon watch, 6 bells (3:11 pm)

Last night we had the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to view an erupting volcano off the coast of Italy, at Stromboli. We passed by it around 12:30am, the captain (bless his little Italian heart), detoured the ship so we could see it. I hope I got some great pictures, but night pictures are difficult, even with a tripod and a remote shutter release, both of which I used tonight. The volcano was incredible, though. Red glowing lava was flowing down its side in three distinct trails, and a plume of glowing red smoke hung above it in the air just the way that rocks don't.

Stromboli Volcano erupting at night
Stromboli volcano, erupting at night

The captain also took a short detour by his home town and blew the horn about a dozen times just to let everyone know he "made it". The lights on the shore are always pretty, but we missed most of them tonight as we were purchasing some beautiful artwork from Park West auctions. I think we stretched ourselves out a little, but we got some amazing stuff, and we'll be very happy with it.

Off the coast of Italy at night:
Off the coast of Italy at night

We also visited Naples, Pompeii, Sorrento, and Positano. I'll have more to write about them later, but for now, enjoy these pictures.

Positano art shot
Positano art shot

Pompeii from outside
Pompeii from the outside

A Street in Pompeii
A Street in Pompeii

Rome is tomorrow, talk to you again soon!

Well, if the hotel I'm staying in has free Internet access, anyway. We're flying home in two days and can hardly believe it's almost over. But once again, there's a point in every vacation where you start to wish you were back at home, and we're certainly approaching that point now. As fun as it's been, we'll be glad to be home and back in the every day rut of our miserably boring lives.

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Cross Dressers in Home Depot
Posted in Dreams
Forenoon watch, 4 bells (10:13 am)

I had this weird dream last night. I went to Home Depot and the people that worked there were mad at me because the last time I was there (with Lorien's uncle Scott), he bought some wood and returned it after spraying something on it, which caused them a lot of trouble. At first I said I had no idea what they were talking about, then remembered the trip with Scott and said it was him, not me.

Then I was reading their sales flyer while three guys in women's clothes were trying to get attention. I made it a point to ingore them, but there was a skinny black guy in a purple dress that was just ridiculous, and they were very noisy.

That's about where I woke up.

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Bombing Germans
Posted in Dreams
Forenoon watch, 3 bells (9:31 am)

I had this strange dream last night. It started out with people flying airplanes, dropping bombs on other airplanes that were flying lower than the first airplanes. They were the old-style airplanes, with no sealed cockpit. And the backseat bomb-droppers were old ladies—with their faces painted white. I don't remember myself being in this part of the dream. Then I was throwing aerosol cans (I ran out of bombs) down from a height at German tanks and troop transports. The tanks looked like little models, and when the cans hit them, they bounced around like they were. The tops of the cans broke off and started spraying everywhere. I was shouting for someone to light a match down there, or fire a weapon to light everything up, and finally someone did, although I don't know who it was.

Then, all of a sudden, I was on the ground, running through their base, my partner was just ahead of me when I got caught by a skinny German with a toothpick in his mouth and a machine gun in his hands. He gestured to my companion and looked away, and that was where I tried to trip him. That's when I realized I had hooked my leg around my wife's leg and was pulling on it. To say the least, we both woke up from that dream.

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Extra Charge for “Protection”
Posted in Dreams
Morning watch, 8 bells (8:18 am)

After I woke up from my dream about aliens, I had another dream about going to the movies. We (my wife and I) were in a foreign country and used a credit card to buy movie tickets, Lorien bought them then went inside, and the ticket lady said I had to pay $10 more, that it was a charge for the FBI's protection while I was watching the movie. I argued with her that there was no sign that said the FBI will protect foreigners for a mandatory charge of $10. I argued with the ticket lady and said they're probably just trying to make up for the bank's surcharge for processing credit cards, but that's only a small percentage, and $10 was way too much. That's all I can remember.

To say the least, last night was very dream-filled.

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Aliens Landed
Posted in Dreams
Morning watch, 8 bells (8:13 am)

I had this dream last night, and had to get up and write about it, it was so strange. In my dream, aliens landed and took over the world. They reassigned people to new housing, and I wasn't happy with where they assigned me, so I took my wife back to my house, but a new family was moving in there. They didn't even bother moving my stuff, they just moved in and started using it. So I decided to take my things (much to the new family's dismay), but I could only take enough to fill up my car. Then I woke up, and my first thought was: If I had to leave my home today, what would I take with me?

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Vampires
Posted in Dreams
Forenoon watch, 5 bells (10:50 am)

I had this weird dream last night, about a vampire that lived in a public toilet, in a park. For some reason, a toilet sitting out by itself in the park wasn't weird, though.

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More Weird Dreams
Posted in Dreams
Forenoon watch, 6 bells (11:18 am)

I had this weird dream last night that I could recycle leftover 2x4s, and they paid you in British Pound Sterling for every foot of 2x4 you brought in.

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Monster Dreams
Posted in Dreams
Forenoon watch, 4 bells (10:05 am)

I don't know what was so weird about last Saturday night, but I dreamed about chupacabras (a whole island of them), and werewolves. I distinctly remember being told that werewolves don't like to run long distances, they only like to lope after their prey, and when they need to travel far they hitch rides on the backs of pickup trucks. As usual, it made perfect sense to me in my dream state.

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Sasquatch Dream
Posted in Dreams
Morning watch, 8 bells (8:23 am)

I had a dream about hunting for sasquatch last night—it was real strange. I dreamt that Lorien's family were bigfoot hunters, and they used bait that looked like something from Fear Factor, with grubs, maggots, and other nasty stuff. Then (for some strange reason), they had to submerge the bait with two lit wicks (don't ask me how the flames didn't go out when it went underwater though). My job was lighting the wicks, and one of them went out as I was putting it underwater, and I had trouble getting it lit back up, but I finally did. Then we had to go to sleep and wait for bigfoot to show up, and then some family started arriving. Then I woke up.

I never got far enough to actually catch him.

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Helping the Poor
Posted in Dreams, Strangeness
Morning watch, 6 bells (7:05 am)

I just woke up from a dream where Lorien's cousin K came over and told us about how her parents were helping the poor by buying those who had just passed on. They would then buy clothes and flashy-gaudy baubles at thrift stores, dress the dead poor people nicer, then bury them.

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Sister Chasing
Posted in Dreams
Morning watch, 6 bells (7:27 am)

I woke up this morning right at the end of a strange dream. I was meeting my sister Betsy at a warehouse, with lots of plastic sheets hanging down like it was a meat-packing plant, or it was going to be painted. I was in a hooded jacket, and scared her, and she started running away from me. I laughed at her and chased her around, and she couldn't get away from me. She was getting scared and I said "Don't worry Betsy I'm not going to hurt you" but she just kept running until I told her I was her brother. Then she stopped, looked at me, we laughed and then walked away together and I woke up.

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Cajun Alligators
Posted in Dreams
Forenoon watch, 4 bells (10:22 am)

This is one of my more vividly remembered dreams. I dreamt I was playing volleyball in a park when all of a sudden, we were set upon by two alligators. They were huge, fat alligators, and they were on a flatbed trailer. They hung their legs over the side, down to the ground, and used their toes to pull themselves along. They talked in a New Orleans accent, too (it seems most of my animal dreams are about talking animals), and even sang. They sang Honky Tonk music while they chased us.

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