ASP/VB Array Stupidity
Afternoon watch, 2 bells (1:18 pm)

This is what pisses me off about ASP/VB. It's bad enough I have to write in it anyway, but come on! Dimensioning a variable to 5 should mean you can only have 5 elements, not 6!

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Dear Microsoft
First dog watch, 1 bell (4:40 pm)

Thanks for writing a Server.URLEncrypt function for ASP.

You really suck for not writing a URLDecrypt fuction.

I hate you. I love PHP.

The end.

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Software Bug Fail
First dog watch, 2 bells (5:03 pm)

A cow-orker recently entered a bug in our tracking software for an error message with our software security. Apparently it is formatted all wonky with a couple of random newlines.

The results were duplicated on two machines: both running Windows 7. Once the two of us responsible for correcting this "bug" realized this, we failed it with extreme prejudice. If you get weird results from a beta OS don't come crying to me…

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NTP vs Stupid
Forenoon watch, 2 bells (9:11 am)

I had my laptop running Linux overnight, and it synchronizes with NTP services to keep accurate time. It handled the Daylight Savings Time change perfectly. I rebooted in to Windows this morning and it added another hour to the clock because it didn't get to yet. Stupid Windows.

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The Garbage Hag
Forenoon watch, 7 bells (11:57 am)

I was behind an old lady this morning on my way to work. I watched her throw multiple items of garbage out of her window. I took a picture to post it on the Internet for all to see her car make/model and license plate.

You can see a napkin she haggily chucked out her window right next to her car.

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False Accusations
Forenoon watch, 7 bells (11:49 am)

I just received an email from a "consultant" (which probably means he works for our competitors) hurling accusations at the company I work for about us allegedly cyber-squatting a domain that is a derivative of one of our competitors (probably the one he works for), and saying that we are "mean-spirited and unethical."

Unfortunately, he "forgot" to check his facts—the domain in question isn't registered to us at all. We don't have any control over it. He sent paragraphs of drivel about how evil we were and how he wouldn't recommend us anymore in his "articles."

He stated he was a long-time user (duh, we sent him NFR copies from version 8 to version 10 of our software), but he never paid for the software anyway. He calls on us to issue a "public apology" to our competition and return the domain to them.

What a retard. He'd have saved a lot of embarrassment if he'd checked his facts first!

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I Need’s More Apostrophe’s!!1!oneone
Forenoon watch, 3 bells (9:59 am)

I saw this ad in my gmail account this morning:

too many apostrophes

It's bad enough to use them all over your own website, but to pay someone else to display them for you? I guess they have a surplus of apostrophes and needed to get rid of a few.

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Take Away the Three
Afternoon watch, 8 bells (4:21 pm)

I ran across a program called 32-bit Fax while searching for Windows-compatible fax programs. Take a look at this screenshot, it's a classic example of how not to design User Interfaces:

fax screenshot

Just because you can put buttons and controls everywhere doesn't mean you should.

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The Problem With Abbreviations
Last dog watch, 8 bells (8:03 pm)

On my way home after leaving work today I saw a license plate with the following letters: APTBRKR. Does that stand for Apartment Broker, or Appointment Breaker? Maybe both? Given that you can only have seven letters on your plate, isn't this plausible?

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Best Thing Since Sliced…Apples?
Last dog watch, 1 bell (6:50 pm)

Loyal readers may know I recently acquired an iPhone. This has been the source of mixed feelings for me, it's the first Apple product I've ever owned, and I have to be completely honest, it's not the best experience of my life. I've had browser issues, my boss had a total iPhone failure, and now I just had to reboot my phone because it automatically hung up on every incoming phone call .

Sorry Apple fanboys, this is not the nest phone I've ever used. It's got a lot going for it, don't get me wrong, it's just not any better than anyone else's product.

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Variables Aptly Named
First dog watch, 2 bells (5:08 pm)

Today I'm upgrading our old CRM server with a newer one. Microsoft, in their infinite wisdom, decided to change the variable names they pass around. Mind you, we're talking about version 3 to version 4, not something that's brand new. For some reason, they also thought it was a good idea to change the way they encode QueryString data as well. It confuses things greatly when I expect them to remain the same.

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Translation FAIL
First dog watch, 3 bells (5:32 pm)

To keep the Internet meme going, here's my contribution to the rash of FAIL blog pictures I've been seeing everywhere.

German FAIL:
German translation FAIL

Captured from this site. Perhaps this is why it's a free program…

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It’s All Vintage
First dog watch, 3 bells (5:47 pm)

Spotted on an eBay auction page:

How many vintage items? ALL OF TEHM!!11oneone

How many vintage items? ALL OF TEHM!!11oneone

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Compatibility for IE 8
Afternoon watch, 1 bell (12:42 pm)

From Microsoft's Partner Program today:

On August 27, 2008, Microsoft released Windows Internet Explorer 8 Beta 2 in English, German, Simplified Chinese, and Japanese. We will release Beta 2 in an additional 21 languages* within a month. Because you’re actively engaged in developing and maintaining websites, Microsoft wants to make you aware of a display issue related to Internet Explorer 8. Upon initial release, browsing in default Internet Explorer 8 Standards mode may cause content written for previous versions of Internet Explorer to display differently than intended. To enable existing content to display as expected, Microsoft is providing a compatibility tag that you can add to sites that might be affected. This tag instructs Internet Explorer 8 to display site content as if it were in Internet Explorer 7. This option helps ensure that existing content will continue to display seamlessly in Internet Explorer 8 without requiring any additional code changes.

A compatibility tag for IE 7? Wow, what a great idea.

How about sticking to published Internet standards, instead? Biznatches.

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Say the ‘J’!
Forenoon watch, 2 bells (9:27 am)

Thanks to Richard Bartle's post about Beijing pronunciation, it sparked me to make my own comment about something that's been bothering me since the opening ceremonies.

SAY THE J!

It's bay jing, not bei zhing!

In America it seems common to make fun of Asian people because they can't pronounce 'L's and 'R's properly, but every hour on the news they can't say the 'j'!

I don't understand why this is so hard! Nobody calls me 'Zhacob,' why can't they pronounce Beijing?

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