Amish Friendship Bread
First watch, 5 bells (10:42 pm)

My mom passed an "Amish Friendship Bread" starter to me several days ago. I ended up cooking the "Amish Friendship Bread" yesterday.

I have some observations about the recipe. First off, I have a photocopied page of a computer-generated recipe. I've seen some pretty complicated, hand-crafted models of computer memory made of wood, but I'm pretty sure it didn't support clip art.

Nextly, the recipe absolutely forbids you to mix in a metal bowl. I can only assume this is because metal is the Devil's technology. I'm pretty sure His High Popeness' royal haberdasher himself may have, at one time, brushed up against my KitchenAid mixer though, so I think it's okay. I used it anyway.

The page also states that "only the Amish know how to create a starter." I happen to have an internet somewhere around here that says otherwise. The recipe calls for a box of instant vanilla pudding, so I suppose the Amish grind their own pudding mix from vanilla pudding tree roots or something.

My favorite part has to be the starter though. After ten days of "mashing" and adding milk, sugar, and flour, you get to split the starter off and hand it to your friends, the Amish equivalent of those annoying email chain letters you have to forward to ten people or something bad will happen to you. The funny thing is you add more ingredients to the starter, measure out several cups (each one for a friend), and then you use what's left for the bread. The starters you hand off are reset to day one. So you're making the "Amish Friendship Bread" with day one starter. Had I read the entire recipe through when I got it, I may have just cooked the thing right up, because it needs no time to ferment.

According to Wikipedia, the source of all truth and knowledge in the universe (cf. the article), there's nothing Amish about "Amish Friendship Bread." But the thing about the metal makes it sound kind of official. Official like that Bill Gates Email Tracking Software reward that you never got.

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