Radar Secret Service
Posted in Reviews
Afternoon watch, 6 bells (3:27 pm)

I just finished watching Radar Secret Service, a completely forgettable movie about using the super science of RADAR to fight crime! Woo!

No, it wasn't very exciting. In fact I nearly slept through it. I give this movie one empty seat for the RADAR!

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Sick Days!
Posted in General
Afternoon watch, 5 bells (2:43 pm)

My body has the unerring ability to get sick when I don't have to work. It's like it saves up all the germs and doesn't let anything happen until Friday afternoon. I have been miserable for over a day now, my head is so stuffed up. I have been watching a lot of MST3K episodes (I'm in season five right now) and just can't get comfortable. I finished doing the last of the dishes and am contemplating taking a nap now.

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Outlaw
Posted in Reviews
Afternoon watch, 3 bells (1:55 pm)

I just finished watching Outlaw (a.k.a. Outlaw of Gor), starring Jack Palance. Well, maybe not starring. I've heard about the Gor books, but have never read them. This is about a teacher transported to the planet of Gor who becomes a hero to the people. There is an evil priest (Palance) who is plotting with the queen to kill the king and take power. Cabot, the hero, is sucked back to their world along with one of his coworkers. The coworker is seduced by the queen, then betrayed by her. Cabot saves the day and marries the king's daughter.

I give this movie two empty seats for the near-continuous near-bare hinder shots of all the people wearing loincloths. *shiver*

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The Atomic Brain
Posted in Reviews
Forenoon watch, 8 bells (12:04 pm)

This morning I watched The Atomic Brain, an 1960's thriller about a rich old woman who pays for a scientists' research on transplanting brains. After successfully transplanting some animal brains into human bodies, the old woman wants him to put her brain in the body of a young woman. Three young women are tricked in to staying with the old woman so she can pick out the best one for herself. Everybody starts to realize that when the old woman gets what she wants, she'll have no further use for them, so the scientist saves the targeted young woman (to whom the old woman left her entire fortune in preparation for the operation) and puts the old bag's brain in a cat. I have no idea how it fit, unless your brain shrinks with age like an old lady's body. The old woman kills the scientist using her cat-body, but the young woman escapes.

To sum it up, this had a much better storyline than the average MST3K movie, and it had some great riffs, too. I give this movie four empty seats, one for each of the kidnapped women and one for the poor cat that had its brains scooped out.

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Beginning of the End
Posted in Reviews
Morning watch, 8 bells (8:14 am)

Last night I watched Beginning of the End, another 1950's giant monster movie. This time it's a professor growing giant tomatoes that is responsible for creating giant locusts that invade Chicago. Just as the army is about to drop an atomic bomb on Chicago the professor figures out a way to use sound to attract the locusts and draws them all into the lake, where they die. Yes, it was that exciting.

I give this movie I can't remember how many seats, one for every Bert I. Gordon movie I've watched, but I can't remember how many there were. None of them were very good, though.

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