Manos: The Hands of Fate
Posted in Reviews
Forenoon watch, 6 bells (11:13 am)

I watched Manos: The Hands of Fate this evening. This was not the first time I've seen it—I had a VHS copy from many years ago. This movie is perhaps one of the worst ever filmed. It also comes in as #25 on IMDB's Bottom 100 list.

This movie is about a family that gets lost trying to find a lodge and ends up staying the night at Torgo's, who is the groundskeeper for an evil Frank Zappa lookalike. Torgo has gigantic thighs for some reason, and he talks really funny. Other than that, the scariest thing about this movie is the fact that someone gave it the green light to be filmed in the first place.

The Zappa dude worships Manos, and evil god, and has about six wives. They get in to a big cat fight over whether the daughter of the lost couple should be allowed to live. In the end, Torgo dies, the wife becomes wife #7 to the Zappa-esque dude, and so does the daughter (ewww). The husband takes Torgo's place for the next lost tourists.

I give this movie ten empty seats for each finger on each hand of fate on Zappa's robe.

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