Manos: The Hands of Fate
Posted in Reviews
Forenoon watch, 6 bells (11:13 am)

I watched Manos: The Hands of Fate this evening. This was not the first time I've seen it—I had a VHS copy from many years ago. This movie is perhaps one of the worst ever filmed. It also comes in as #25 on IMDB's Bottom 100 list.

This movie is about a family that gets lost trying to find a lodge and ends up staying the night at Torgo's, who is the groundskeeper for an evil Frank Zappa lookalike. Torgo has gigantic thighs for some reason, and he talks really funny. Other than that, the scariest thing about this movie is the fact that someone gave it the green light to be filmed in the first place.

The Zappa dude worships Manos, and evil god, and has about six wives. They get in to a big cat fight over whether the daughter of the lost couple should be allowed to live. In the end, Torgo dies, the wife becomes wife #7 to the Zappa-esque dude, and so does the daughter (ewww). The husband takes Torgo's place for the next lost tourists.

I give this movie ten empty seats for each finger on each hand of fate on Zappa's robe.

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Messiah Concert
Posted in General
Forenoon watch, 2 bells (9:25 am)

Today is the big day—the second annual free Messiah Concert. We have to be there at 10am, we'll practice with the orchestra until 1:30 or so, then we have a break but have to be back at 6pm to warm up for the concert, which starts around 7pm.

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Here’s One For You, Ben
Forenoon watch, 2 bells (9:23 am)

The Magic Sword is on TCM right now…

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Bride of the Monster
Posted in Reviews
Forenoon watch, 2 bells (9:02 am)

Last night I watched Bride of the Monster, an old Ed Wood film. I haven't watched much of his stuff, but I've heard about it. And this one lived up to what I'd heard. This was the cheesiest horror movie I've ever seen, and the sad part was it wasn't trying to be cheesy (e.g. Bruce Campbell vs. the Army of Darkness).

This movie was about a monster in Swamp Lake, and a crazy scientist that bought an old home near the lake. Many locals disappear and are secretly used in the scientist's (played by Bela Lugosi) nefarious experiments. Playing next to Lugosi is Tor Johnson as Lobo, the quintessential big dumb guy. The scientist is trying to create a race of atomic supermen, but when a newpaper reporter disappears her cop-boyfriend comes to the rescue. In the end, the scientist succeeds—on himself—when Lobo grows a heart and puts him on the experiment table instead of the woman (who turned up in a wedding dress, hence the "Bride" thing).

I give this movie one big empty seat for Lobo.

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The Day the Earth Froze
Posted in Reviews
First watch, 2 bells (9:26 pm)

I just finished watching The Day the Earth Froze, a movie based on a Finnish fairy tale. This really wasn't what I was expecting from the title, as the first thing that came to mind was The Day the Earth Stood Still, which is a SciFi movie. And since most of what MST3K did was SciFi, that's what I was expecting.

Anyway, Joel and his robot friends make fun of the movie with their poor Swedish accents, often switching to their much better Minnesotan accents which I find even funnier. This movie had several good riffs in it, and wasn't too painful to watch, although the plot was pretty basic. My favorite parts were the blacksmith that could forge a horse, and the north wind in a giant chained-up bag. And they have this thing called a Sampo that makes unlimited food and gold.

I give this movie several empty seats for the old witch that stole the sun.

PS This movie was prefaced by a short film about the circus that was really funny and shouldn't be missed.

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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Posted in Reviews
Last dog watch, 3 bells (7:49 pm)

No, I didn't watch this one again, and especially not as a new tradition. Nope, this is the shiny new version from Cinematic Titanic.

The best thing about this movie was that it came with an autographed silhouette from Joel Hodgson saying "Merry Christmas JH."

I have to say this is the only really bad movie I've watched twice. I love that the original MST3K guys are doing new movies. Their riffs are a little bit more adult, but they didn't go over the top like I felt they did in The Wasp Woman.

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Happy Turkey Day!
Posted in General
Last dog watch, 1 bell (6:58 pm)

Yeah, it's almost over, but hey, it's my blog! Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and if you're not American, Happy Thursday November 27th!

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Portland Visit
Posted in General
First dog watch, 2 bells (5:19 pm)

Last night we left for Portland and an early Thanksgiving with my Mom's family. We rolled on to Portland at a quarter to four in the morning, and had just enough time to catch a few hours of sleep before driving down to Eugene.

It's been a rough day but worth the effort to see so much family I hardly ever see.

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Conversation I Just Had
First dog watch, 1 bell (4:35 pm)

Question: Where do you draw the line between a really short person and a midget?

Answer: Danny DeVito

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Theme Tweaking
Posted in General
Afternoon watch, 8 bells (4:28 pm)

I tweaked my theme a little bit, to show dates differently as well as provide tag icons and a new permalink. Enjoy!

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Thursdays Are Back
Posted in General
Forenoon watch, 3 bells (9:45 am)

After months of Thursday night Handel's Messiah practice, I finally have my Thursday nights back. Last night was the final Thursday practice before the concert. We have one more Saturday practice before the big day. It's much easier to sing the second time around.

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The Drinky Crow Show
Posted in News
Forenoon watch, 4 bells (10:10 am)

Premiering on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim this Sunday at "11ish", according to They Might Be Giants. Warning: gratuitous regurgitation of stomach contents of bird swiftly follows:


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Quantum of Solace
Posted in Reviews
Forenoon watch, 3 bells (9:59 am)

Last night, after dinner, Lorien and I went to see the new James Bond movie. Unlike other Bond films, this one picked up right at the end of Casino Royale. I mean right at the end! It was a simple continuation of the story. It's exciting to see a story arc that spans movies, and makes me itch for the next movie already. There were certainly things left undone that could be filled in during future movies. It was full of pretty intense action but significantly shorter than Casino Royale. Quantum was only 1:45 long, and I wish it had been longer. That aside, I think I liked Casino Royale more, but this is a required follow-up because you just don't have the whole story until you see it.

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Red Robin
Forenoon watch, 3 bells (9:55 am)

Last night Lorien and I went to the Red Robin, down in Riverstone near the movie theatre. Apparently they're famous for hamburgers, but I've never been there before. Let me just say that the hamburgers are delicious, and they have "bottomless" steak fries to boot!

Several years ago, when my office was downtown, there was a restaurant called Tanglewood Bistro. Apart from what was probably the best caesar salad I've ever had, they also made what they called a "Kawaii Burger"—a teriyaki-marinated hamburger with Swiss cheese, grilled pineapple, and bacon on a kaiser roll. It was to die for. The bistro is long gone, and so, I thought, was my favorite burger.

Red Robin quite nearly recreated it last night. I horked it down so fast I didn't even realize it was all gone. Their onion rings are quite good, too. I have a sneaky feeling I'll be going back there.

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Who Likes Not-Gay Vampires?
Posted in Reviews
Forenoon watch, 6 bells (11:06 am)

I think this is hilarious. People that are lining up for the new Twilight movie probably won't.

Check out's Five reasons you'll hate the movie 'Twilight'

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