Cinematic Titanic recently released Legacy of Blood, and I just finished watching it. This one had a card signed by J. Elvis Weinstein (the previous two were Mary Jo Pehl and Trace Beaulieu).
The movie was terrible, but that was the point. It's back to riffing bad movies for this crew. I must admit, I miss the robots, but it's nice to have access to good humor and bad movies. This one was much better than Wasp Woman, in my humble opinion.
Legacy of Blood is about a family whose father dies, but to earn their inheritance they must spend a week together in his house. But the cliche doesn't end here—it just keeps going right on to the predictable twist at the end!
JM, a loyal cow-orker of mine, sent me a link to this story about a guy that plays 36 World of Warcraft characters—simultaneously.
Not only is this an astonishingly large waste of talent, but the time and money! Not to mention I'm sure this guy has no woman in his life…
I just made an excellend piña colada, perfect taste and consistency. It's been really easy since we bought our blendtec blender. Last night I made some and mixed in my cherry flavored Nyquil, but it ended up tasting like Nyquil and not very nice. I figured next time (read: tonight) I'll just chug the Nyquil and enjoy the piña colada afterwards. It's really hard to believe that just mixing sliced pineapple, coconut cream, and a few ice cubes can taste this good. I actually like to add a little frozen concentrated orange juice to the mix, it gives the drink a nice overall flavor.
Today I also watched Hercules vs. the Moon Men, another Italian Hercules film. The mad scientists really picked a brutal one (Deep Hurting!) with its ten minute long sandstorm scene. I must assume that the "moon men" were the gumby-shaped rock monsters, because the only other alien-looking being was unique, so he couldn't be the plural men we're looking for. He did control the moon men, however, and did a cracking job I might add. They terrorized helpless maidens like nobody's business.
Hercules pulled more than his weight, at least up to the point where he left everyone behind in the sandstorm of ultimate death (ultimate death for us, the viewers, as it was terribly long and very boring). I give this movie ten empty seats—one for each insufferable minute of sandstorm footage that didn't need to be there.
Well, another one to put back in the archive, I just finished watching Indestructible Man. It should have been called Impervious to Everything But Electricity Man, because that's how he gets it in the end. Anyway, it's about a murder put to death in the gas chamber of San Quentin whose corpse is taken and used for an experiment. He is brought back to life, but now has become indestructible, so he goes out on a killing rampage to get all the guys that put him away. The goal of the movie, apparently, is for him to get the $600,000 he stole and hid in the sewers, a map to which he left with his girl, whom it was stolen from by a guy that the murderer killed anyway.
It starred Lon Chaney Jr.'s eyes, mostly, as there were quite a few close-ups of his eyes semi-blinking a lot. It kind of creeped me out, honestly. I give this movie two empty seats, one for each of Lon Chaney's eyes that squinted so creepily during the super close-ups.
I just finished watching Hercules Unchained, it was pretty bad, but it was in color. At least it had that going for it. I think after you watch enough of these movies, you start to get an idea of what's really wrong with them—poor plot movement (or absence of), characters you just don't care about, disjointed stories, the list goes on and on.
In this movie, which is a sequel to one I haven't yet seen, Hercules is negotiating a truce between two warring countries but drinks from the well of forgetfulness. He's captured and enslaved by the evil wiles of a beautiful queen (okay, I'm making this sound like it was actually good now) then remembers who he was and gets on with his quest. That's..about it, really.
I give this movie one empty seat mine for half the movie while I was up doing things and listening to the movie because it was so bad.
I just finished watching (Attack of) The Killer Shrews, with a short film about Rodeo "daredevils" that was really lame. It got even less interesting when the narrator mentioned high school squaredancing.
Anyway, the Killer Shrews are not the wenchy, female type—we're talking about the little mouse type. Except not, because they're big. Dog-sized, in fact. And they barked exactly like dogs do, too. A man shows up on an island just before a hurricane strikes, where he's force to weather (hehe) an attack by mutated shrews. Their faces (the shrews) were pretty scary for a such a poor movie, especially considering how the rest of their costume just looked like a dog in a cheap rat suit.
So the hero is forced to save a scientist and his young, pert, blonde daughter from being rat food. Did I mention the shrews absorbed the poison the scientist put out for them, and now even their bite is lethal? Well, it's true. Thus our hero smokes and drinks his way into our hearts. He ends up saving everyone by welding (yes, he did find time to weld) several barrels together so they could hide under them and duck-walk out to the water, where they could swim to his boat.
I give this movie one hundred twenty seven empty seats, one for each actor in the film and one hundred twenty more for the cigarettes and martinis imbibed.
I just finished Attack of the Giant Leeches. This movie was prefaced by the first short of Undersea Kingdom. Full of cheesy dialog and action, it's a trek into an advanced underwater Atlantis civilization.
As for the leeches, at least there were more than one. It's a redneck rampage in the swamp to hunt down killer giant leeches.
I can only give this movie two empty seats one for each garbage-bag clad actor portraying a giant leech.
Ah yes, another wonderful piece of theatrical drivel called Being From Another World. It's about a mummy found in Tutankhamen's tomb. When five small gems are stolen from the sarcophagus, the mummy goes out searching for them, then uses the gems to power a space communicator to transport himself somewhere else.
I can barely give this movie five empty seats, for the "worthless" crystals the mummy/alien was willing to kill for.
I just finished watching Teenagers from Outer Space, a movie from the 50's about a young man from outer space that disagrees with the rest of the people from his planet and thinks that the Earth should be left alone because it shows signs of intelligent life.
He falls in love with a girl who's dog was disintegrated by his landing party, and they fight a giant lobster, then the teenage alien sacrifices himself by causing all the other invading flying saucers to crash into the one he was in.
This movie deserves only one empty seat, for the only teenager from outer space that I saw.
I watched City Limits today, a typical 1980's post-apocalyptic piece of garbage starring (surprisingly) James Earl Jones and Kim Cattrall of all people. This movie was about a guy that rides a motorcycle that wants to be part of a scavenging gang and they fight this other gang and that's about all I can say about the movie other than it really sucked.
I give this movie six thousand empty seats, one for each time James Earl Jones wished he never agreed to be in this movie.
I've been really sick this weekend, so I thought I'd get back to watching some more MST3K, picking up where I left off at the beginning of season four with The Giant Gila Monster. It was your typical teen monster movie from the 50's with racing cars, pop songs, and overgrown gila monsters. Well, there was only one.
This movie was about a rampaging giant gila monster that knocked cars and trains over to get to the crunchy tasty people inside. The hero finally gets the monster by crashing his car into it with several containers of nitroglycerin. What a 1950's teen needs that much nitro for I have no idea, but it was a good thing he had it, or they'd have all been boned.
I give this movie four empty seats because I can't think of a better number.
Lorien and I went downtown to O'Shay's Pub (on Coeur d'Alene Lake Drive, just past Sherman Ave) tonight to hear my friend John play some Irish music and have a bite to eat.
They were really busy at 7pm, when the tunes started up, and it took quite a while for our dinner to get to us, but it was extremely good. I was going to have the Shepherd's pie (John recommended it a long time ago), but they said they didn't have the gravy they usually serve with it tonight. Figuring I'd miss out on the entire experience, I went for the fish and chips instead. They were excellent, and the tables have bottles of malt vinegar on them—a requirement for real fish and chips if you ask me.
Anyway, they have a lot of live music there, and John plays Friday nights more often than not, alternating Bluegrass and Irish music. I highly recommend a stop there, but make sure you have plenty of time, if they're busy it may take an hour.
Did I mention they have the most gigantic-est bread pudding you'll ever lay eyes on?
Happy Double Ten Day, Taiwan!
I made my first purchase on eBay the other day. I've been a member for almost five years, but never bought anything myself.
What did I get? A used Thermolyne Type 1900 hot plate, like they use in laboratories. Why? You'll see, soon.