Cinematic Titanic is releasing their new movie tomorrow. For now, we’ll have to be happy with this:
Before It Conquered the World, Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffed a short film called Snow Thrills. Full the the brim with yesteryear banter, this film was borderline nauseous. The best part was when they introduce a fast-growing popular sport called skiing, pronounced shee-ing. This part starts around 4:17. Go see it, it’s really funny.
Last night I watched Earth vs. the Spider with my wife. It was preceded by a short sales training film about speaking clearly, which was probably funnier than the movie itself. Be heard. Be understood. Be pleasing. Heh heh.
This movie should have been called A Very Small Town vs the Spider. There was no Earth involved. Actually, it really should have been called Two Teenagers, Their Borrowed Car, a High School Teacher, a Sheriff, Two Deputies, and a Small Deputized Posse vs the Spider. Yeah, I think that about sums it up.
There were some pretty funny jokes in it. And a truck full of DDT that only “stunned” the spider. It was amusing when the people opted not to try DDT again, because it only stunned the spider and didn’t kill it. Well, the spider was nearly comatose for hours! Had they used DDT again they could have killed it at their leisure once it was “stunned” again.
One of the best parts of this movie is how the teenager treats his girlfriend. When she calls to ask him if he’ll take her to the cave (where the spider came from) to retrieve the gift she dropped there the first time they encountered the spider, the boy tells her he doesn’t want to go because there’s a new puppet movie that looks really great and he hasn’t seen it yet.
I rate this movie 36 empty seats, one for each year that DDT has been banned (1972) for most uses in the United States.