Apparently Gary Gygax (co-creator of D&D) passed away yesterday.
In his honor, here are 16 Gary Gygax jokes you shouldn’t make (copied from w00t):
1. “Quick! Someone cast Raise Dead!”
2. “Don’t worry – he’s just playtesting the Astral Plane for the next edition.”
3. “He’s gone the way of Star Frontiers.”
4. “Analysts warn of a free-fall in Mountain Dew futures.”
5. “In the next town, you meet a stranger named Barry Bygax.”
6. “Now who will lead our young people to Satan?”
7. “With his last breath, he cursed the name of Marlon Wayans.”
8. “I wonder how they’ll divide up his XP.”
9. “Pallbearers, make a Bend Bars/Lift Gates roll.”
10. “At least he didn’t live to see Disney’s Greyhawk On Ice.”
11. “Lorraine Williams is behind this somehow, I just know it.”
12. “The worlds of adventure gaming, fantasy fandom, and van painting will never be the same.”
13. “When I heard, I cried 2d10 tears.”
14. “Is there anything in the will about electrum?”
15. “Heart condition? Wow, I always thought it’d be owlbears that got him.”
16. “Suddenly, nobody in Heaven wants to hang out with Marilyn Monroe on Friday night.”
Last night I watched Wild Rebels. It was a mostly-boring movie about a race card driver that wrecks his car, sells all his junk, then goes to a bar. There he meets a motorcycle gang (of three) called Satan’s Angels (hmm, wonder where they got that idea from??) who want to recruit him as their wheel man. The cops are on to them and can see their motorcycles coming, which is why they want to switch to a car, “it’s less conspicuous” according to the gang leader.
Driver wants nothing to do with them and their promiscuous groupie girl (I think she makes out with every member of the gang throughout the movie) and leaves, where he gets picked up by “the fuzz.” Local law enforcement cooks up a plan for Driver to join up with the gang but work undercover for the police so they can bust the cycle gang. So Driver goes back to racing, wrecks another car so the motorcycle gang (who showed up to watch the race) would think he was desperate and let him join them despite the fact that he once turned them down. The gang goes out and knocks over a gun store with the help of Promiscuous Girl, who woos the proprietor before beating him with one of his own guns.
They then head off to “Citrusville” where they rob a bank. Since they lost the cops on the way to the bank, Driver flashes his lights while the gang is inside doing the robbing to get police attention. Unfortunately, he signals the only other cops that have no idea what’s going on. Banjo, a gang member, sees what Driver does (Banjo never trusted Driver as a member of their gang anyhow), shoots both cops with a shotgun aimed the wrong way (they should have used a different camera angle for that shot), and heads out to finish Driver guy off. The rest of the gang comes out of the bank, but not before one of the gang members runs back in and slaps the aft-end of a blond bystander (the “nice tag” riff almost killed me I laughed so hard, usually it’s reserved for punches).
Anyway, the gang forces Driver man at gunpoint to drive them away since they no longer trust him. Why none of the gang can drive is never addressed in the film—none of them have any trouble with a motorcycle, though. They drive through a swamp with squealing tires (that bit was pretty funny) and end up at a lighthouse, where they have a final shootout with the police. All the gang members but the leader are shot by the police. Gang leader goes for Driver to finish him off, but Promiscuous girl shoots gang leader in the back instead. So I assume at some point in making out with Driver man she felt something different and decided to give up her life of “kicks.”
The movie wasn’t very good, and if you read this you won’t get much more out of it. Joel and the robots had some pretty good riffs, though. I rate it three empty seats, one for each of the dead gang members that made out with Promiscuous Girl.